17. Battle in Kabul

For those of you who are up and have heard about what's going on in Kabul...I'm fine. Its been a bad day...and all is not clear yet. Thanks for all your emails and messages of support. I'll keep you posted. --

--- Later, the same day. It's 7:15 PM in the evening and there is a quiet peace that has come over Kabul once again. It's hard to believe that just a few hours earlier, bombs were exploding, rockets were being fired and fierce guns battles were raging. The result...10 innocent people dead--including a child, over 40 injured, burned down buildings, a few dead suicide bombers, a city full of residents who are returning home to their families - devastated and jaded by the deteriorating security despite all the promises of peace. 

It's been a tough week. First a rocket attack on Wazir Akbar Khan a couple of nights ago (literally two blocks from my guesthouse), then today's events. I'll be honest, it's been a bit unnerving. As we sat around the office today and listened to the explosions and gun fire around us, I tried to be strong. But my heart was pounding out of my chest. The reaction of my co-workers were a mixture of fear, false courage, reassurance that we will be ok, and camaraderie that can only be felt by people who come so close to death together. But it was the Afghans, whose reactions made the most impact on me. Some were unfazed due to the fact that they've seen so much worse in their short lifetimes. Others made references to feeling like they were back in the 90's where constant explosions and gun fire was a part of daily life in Kabul. And finally, there was one person...who looked straight at me and asked in a very disappointed tone, "What are you doing here? Why do you choose to be in this hell we live in when you can be safe and happy back home?". He didn't even wait for my answer. He just turned and left, leaving me to ponder his question. 

As we spent the rest of the day locked down in our office, I tried to concentrate and distract myself with work, but I kept going back to his question. Why are we here? What would happen if all of us left and went back to the safety of our homes in the West? There is nothing I can do to protect the innocent people of this nation from bombs and rockets. But not once this whole day, did I even consider leaving. I know that none of us can save this country. I know there are many people here who are just trying to make some money and have no vested interest in what happens to Afghanistan or its people. But there are some of us who do. Maybe by being here, if nothing else, we can give some hope to the Afghan people. Maybe we can comfort them and show them that there are people who care about them. We can show the them that we stand with them and are willing to go through what they do and that we share their fears, their pain, their loss. Maybe, I'm delusional and none of it means anything to anyone. But as I go to bed tonight (with my flashlight next to me and my shoes at the edge of the bed, in case I have to run down to the safe room in the middle of the night), I still look forward to the hope of a better tomorrow. We have been ordered on lockdown for a couple of days because there are still risks of more disruption but I'm not scared anymore. I know that I would rather live in this home where I can appreciate and value every minute I have and make a difference in my own way than to live in the safety of my other home where all I do struggle to catch up to the life that passes me by everyday. My thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims of today's events.

Photo Credit:  NewsChannel10.com